Batti banda! New load shedding hours

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    loadsheddingHere is a million-volt suggestion for the Nepal Electricity Authority top honchos and the ‘higher-ups’ who call the shots in there, absolutely free of cost. We observe you have taken great pains to ensure the new power outage schedule covers most peak hours. Good on you. If there was any doubt, now people truly know who the real power brokers in the country are.

    But we are disappointed that you will continue to burden your old, sagging wires, which should have been honorably retired by this time, with a few amps here and a few amps there.

    By completely cutting off power it is not just the wires you will be saving. First, this could be a truly revolutionary step in making Nepali people self-reliant and preserving our culture. People will once again hone their vision in candlelight and tukis, just like their forefathers, who, we are reliably told, never needed glasses.

    The candle industry, in turn, would boom, sucking in hundreds of thousands of outbound migrants, preventing countless families from melting apart under the searing Gulf sun.

    Second, closing down the bloated NEA bureaucracy will save billions, which can be pumped into candle-and-wick cottage industries. Third, such an ingenious move will give Nepal, heretofore the land of Gautam Buddha and Mount Everest, the unique distinction of being the first country in the world to entirely do away with electricity.

    Imagine all those dollars that will be floating around in Phewa when the ‘dark restaurant’ business takes off, in time easily eclipsing current nocturnal hotspots like London’s Dans de noir.

    The new power outage schedule has given rise to new optimism. We are now sure that even if our representatives fail to give us a new constitution through CA II, they will surely be able to enlist the country in the Guinness Book of World Records as the permanent abode of the Batman franchise.

    The early signs are already encouraging. The Aam Aadmi Party rose to the helm of power in Delhi on the back of simple promises like getting rid of corruption, clean drinking water and cheap electricity.

    Our politicians too seem to have realized during the recent election campaign that people care more about these daily bread and butter issues than they do about the pie-in-the-sky constitution, as important as it might be to the chattering classes.

    The biggest difference between Delhi and Nepal has been that while AAP chief Arvind Kejriwal was able to push through vital reforms on electricity and water within 48 hours of his appointment as the Chief Minister, here in Nepal, the politicians, true to form, continue to bicker over who summons the first meeting of the Constituent Assembly—more than a month and a half after the election. So far so good.

    Now the logical next step is to throw off the pretence that any of you cares about such trivial issues like availing people cheap water and reliable electricity. We know that you folks like to think big. We do as well. This is the reason we wholeheartedly support your dearly-held dream of turning Nepal into another Singapore.

    We believe now is the perfect time to embark on this great quest. Lest we be accused to trying to emulate any particular country wholesale, let us create a Singapore with a difference: a Singapore without light, a Singapore without running water, a Singapore without reliable roads, and a Singapore that is not afraid to show its dark spots. Lights out, everyone.

    Source : Republica